I Used to Create…

I would sit with my notebooks and pens and they would paint entire planes of existence almost as if they had their own intentions and purpose and I was the instrument being utilized. Now the the ink has dried…

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Such beautiful worlds and have the most interesting conversations all on my own. I would sit with my notebooks and pens and they would paint entire planes of existence almost as if they had their own intentions and purpose and I was the instrument being utilized. Now the ink has dried and when the pen moves across the page I have to force it leaving behind only scars and torn pages with no consistent depth or meaning.

It’s sad.

All of my work, my beautiful mind, my creations reduced to an arid desert. More than that and yet less. Emptiness. But not the aesthetic emptiness of space between the stars and galaxies. This is the emptiness of nothing. Cold and black, heartless and without soul.

How do I climb out of this pit?

Airborne Apparitions

I just woke up from one of the coolest dreams I’ve had in a while. When my alarm brought me out of it I just laid there with my eyes closed hoping for a chance to slip back into my unconscious trance. I poured over the details of the dream trying to reconstruct the world I knew was quickly slipping away from my tethered hold on reality. The details slowly came back to me as a soft pinprick of light in the dark blossoming, the Big Bang of my astral plane.

I just woke up from one of the coolest dreams I’ve had in a while. When my alarm brought me out of it I just laid there with my eyes closed hoping for a chance to slip back into my unconscious trance. I poured over the details of the dream trying to reconstruct the world I knew was quickly slipping away from my tethered hold on reality. The details slowly came back to me as a soft pinprick of light blossoming in the dark, the Big Bang of my astral plane.

Comfy, sunshine yellow illumination filled my vision slowly dampening revealing … Keep reading…

“Getting the Poison Out”

It’s one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite fictional characters, Hank Moody, played by David Dochuvny on the hit Showtime series Californication. I’m sure that’s not where the quote originated but its meaning is all the same: ejecting toxic materials, whether they be physical or metaphorical, from the self to clear the mind, cheat death, and ward off insanity. I suppose that’s how writers stay sane and exactly what I was doing in my last post. I got the poison out, healthily and indirectly…

You see, for a long time … Keep reading…

Confessing to Murder

I dream of killing you, my hands entwined around your pale throat, veins bulging from your face like writhing worms, blood vessels bursting lightning strikes across the whites of your eyes as the last breath escapes your cold lips. You are the inheritor of my vengeance, the murderer of my innocence, the keeper of the key to my prison of rage. Fury flows like fire through my veins at the faintest whisper of your name just as a spell from a wizard’s lips ignites the æther into being.

You’ll never know the sting of an empty home, the … Keep reading…

My Wife Drugged Me

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As I was wiping down countertops, loading the dishwasher, and restoring our home to its rightful order a single though occurred to me: My wife drugged me.

Do I have your attention? Are you confused? Well, you should be … Keep reading…

When I Grow Up

Well, I turned in my last assignment for my BFA in Creative Writing last night, and I can honestly say that it feels like the world has lifted from my shoulders and opened up in front of me. It’s like my entire body sighed all at once, and then I realized I can finally hunker down on those huge projects that have been on the back burner for so long… Welcome back, World! I saved you a seat on my shoulders just in case you decided to return.

It’s okay. Life wouldn’t be worth much if you didn’t have personal goals to achieve or surpass. The past two-and-a-half years … Keep reading…

Determining Villainy

legionWhat makes a villain a villain? Do they have to throw kittens from a balcony? Does a villain have to be a loner vampire type or command an army of undead? Do they need to stand in the way of two star crossed lovers or simply have opinions that oppose oneself or a predetermined hero? The latest episode of Supernatural has brought me to this question along with some personal experiences. I decided to do some research to get a more accurate answer. I started by … Keep reading…